Headache Management Strategies for Caregivers

It can be very difficult to see your child in pain for days on end. Often, parents may feel helpless as they try to ease their child’s suffering. Parents can play an active role in their child’s recovery from severe headaches. Listed below are tips that have helped other parents of patients with chronic pain.

Instructions for caregivers:

Remove the focus on headaches.

• Avoid asking your child questions about the headaches.

• Let your child bring it up to you. Trust that your child will come to you for help if needed.

Encourage and praise normal activity whether or not your child is experiencing a headache.

• Encourage attendance in school, completion of daily chores, and participation in regular activities.

• Do not remove responsibilities in response to headaches.

Provide different consequences on days when your child’s activities are disrupted because of headaches.

• If school or other important responsibilities are missed because of pain, the child should not be permitted to do special things like watch TV, use a cell phone, or play games (even if pain resolves later in the day).

• A day with severe head pain and missed activities should be low-key, quiet, and not filled with activities.

• The goal is for your child to want to engage in positive “well behaviors” outside of the home.

Encourage independent management of headaches.

• If your child reports a headache, encourage the use of relaxation skills.

• A good response to a complaint of a headache is “I am sorry to hear you are in pain. What do you think you can do right now to help your headache?”

Do not give your child extra attention.

• When your child complains of a headache, acknowledge the pain and encourage active coping behaviors. Do not provide extra privileges or “baby” your child. While well-meaning, this can subconsciously encourage the “sick role”, which is not helpful long-term. Encouraging active coping behaviors will help increase your child’s confidence in their ability to manage headaches.

Reward activity participation and school attendance.

• When your child attends school or participates in activities, their favorite activities should be made available.

• This may be as simple as getting to use a cell phone or watch TV on the days that school is attended. You can also try a system like gaining points that can be exchanged for agreed-upon rewards.

Encourage your child to:

• Keep a normal routine including chores at home and regular school attendance.

• Begin making SMART lifestyle changes by setting reasonable goals and working hard to achieve them. See the SMART Lifestyle Changes handout.

• Learn relaxation skills for pain and stress management. Some techniques include deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and imagery.

• Use their relaxation skills daily and as needed for pain.

• Use distraction to refocus the attention from headaches. Try music, reading, writing, art, and time with friends.

• Think positively as much as possible.

• Pursue interests and goals despite headaches.

Reviewed July 2024 by Christina L. Szperka, MD, MSCE