Supporting Your Child with Headaches

It is very hard to see your child in pain. Many parents and caregivers feel helpless. The good news is that you play an important role in your child’s recovery. Below are strategies that have helped many families.

Focus on your child, not just the headaches. 

• Try not to ask about headaches too often. This can increase focus on pain. Instead of asking, “Do you have a headache?” try, “What was the best part of your day?” Let your child know you are there for them.

• If your healthcare provider recommends a headache diary, have your child complete it. Record only what your child reports. Track symptoms for a set amount of time, such as 1 to 2 weeks. Then discontinue the diary unless your healthcare team recommends continuing.

• Comfort your child during headaches and on headache free days. Encourage your child to feel in control and be the boss of their pain. Support hobbies and adjust activities as needed, such as taking breaks or participating every other day.

• Remember that treatment takes time. Progress is not always a straight path. Treatment plans are different for each child. Keep working toward long term goals. Remind your child that pain and difficult feelings do not last forever.

Encourage normal routines. 

• Support school attendance, chores, and regular activities as much as possible, with flexibility when needed. Keeping routines steady helps the brain feel safe. Big changes can sometimes increase signal danger to the brain.

• Praise your child’s effort. Small rewards can support healthy behaviors.

• If school is missed, use times when pain is milder to catch up. Try not to let work pile up, as this can increase stress and headaches. Work closely with the school and your healthcare team on a plan. If stress is high, consider a lighter course load for a semester or year.

• Balance responsibilities and fun so your child can do both. Pacing is key for work and play. Encourage regular breaks. 

Build your child’s independence in managing headaches. 

• Try responses like: “It is so hard to be in pain. I know how brave you are.” 

• Teach coping skills beyond medication. These may include deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and guided imagery. These skills work best when practiced daily.

• Encourage distraction to shift attention away from pain, such as music, reading, art, or spending time with friends.

• Be mindful of your attention. Your attention is like a flashlight. Wherever you shine it, that behavior grows. Try not to give extra attention only when your child has pain or pain-related behaviors. This can accidentally encourage a sick role. Instead, give attention and praise for active coping behaviors, such as speaking up about needs, pacing activities, noticing triggers, and using coping strategies. This helps your child build confidence in managing headaches.

 Supporting your child together. 

• We know how challenging chronic headaches can be. Your healthcare provider and healthcare team are committed to working with you to find the best treatment for your child.

• The process can take time, and barriers such as insurance approvals can be frustrating. Please know we are doing everything we can to support your child.

• Your feedback helps us improve our care. As you advocate for your child, we kindly ask for your patience and respect. This helps us support your family and the many others who rely on our healthcare team. We are in this together.

Reviewed February 2026 by Ryan Alviani, RN, Grace Callan, RN, Kristina McLaughlin, RN, Christina Murphy, PhD, Vi Ngo, RN, and Christina L. Szperka, MD, MSCE